“Winter always turns to spring.”
(Nichiren Daishonin – WND-I, 536)
When I first starting practicing Nichiren Buddhism back in 2010, winter always turns to spring, is a term I heard over and over again but at the time I didn’t quite believe it. I was so beaten down by my illness that the words could not penetrate into my mind. I could barely get out of bed let alone fathom the idea that spring would come back into my life ever again but here I am. Spring has arrived and I can hear the sweet song of her whispers as I listen closely and let her in.
These are times of great change and with that I felt it was time to let a few, well quite a few, things go. I don’t know about you but every year I love a good spring clean. It prepares me for newness and the great things that have yet to come but I know are coming. Although I have a good declutter every year, this year feels totally different. I feel ready to step out and live a new story. So with that I did something that probably shocked the hell out of poor Mildred (my perfectionist self). As if the sock saga wasn’t enough for her?! Bless!
I burnt all the journals I hand wrote prior to going to Bali. Out of everything I let go of, this was one of the hardest things for me to do, especially being the crazy journaholic that I am. When I was first entertaining the idea, I felt really sad about it. I looked through my journals before burning them and felt a deep compassion for what my old self went through. Contained in these pages was so much pain and grief but at the same time there were inspiring moments that made me smile too. I decided to keep some of these gems of wisdom and discarded the rest because it was just shit. No matter how you dress it – shit will always be shit. I mean who wants to carry smelly shit around with them. Certainly not me! It was time to burn that shit and so that’s exactly what I did.
“Our life itself is the foremost treasure…
Believe in your own life! It is the
source of unsurpassed power.”
As I threw the pages into the fire I felt a huge release inside of me. My body felt like it was getting lighter and lighter as more and more pages turned into ash. I was mesmerised by the sight of the fire. It was strong and powerful, just like the author of the pages that was feeding it and keeping it alive. As I continued to watch the flames it turned colour a few times with varying shades of green and blue. It was as if it was speaking to me and showing me that there is colour and light within me. Not only that but it was always already there. I just needed the power to set it alight; to set it free.
Baby Buddha eating sexy food @ her local bar restaurant :p
I am so grateful to my Buddhist practice. Without it I may never have seen the potential that I had. Winter does indeed always turn to spring and I can safely say I am well. I am well. I am well. I am well and I will keep saying it each and every day throughout the rest of this lifetime.
No matter what happens it is never too late to start again. There is always hope.
It is always the beginning…
Love and blessings,